2004 films in review

Lots of people have been compiling Top Ten 2004 Movie lists lately. I thought about doing one myself, but I hate being such a copycatter. First of all, it’s difficult for me to pick one or two of the Best Movies of 2004. Second of all, being in Austin, I saw a lot of late 2003 movies in 2004 and I will probably see some of the more critically acclaimed 2004 movies in 2005 so my list would be all weird anyway.
Besides, I can’t do a Top Ten Movies of 2004 because, this is embarrassing to admit, I’ve only seen a couple dozen movies released in 2004. (I’m not done yet, though.) I guess I could do a Top Five, but still, that’s 20 percent of the movies I saw. However, thanks to the wonderful convenience of mail-order movie rentals and the number of Austin arthouse/revival theaters, I saw 60 non-2004 movies for the first time this year.
So instead of a list, I would like to give special recognition in various areas for the movies I saw in 2004. I will divide these into two major categories: movies released in 2004, and “previous”—movies released in other years that I saw for the first time in 2004.

Most Downright Entertaining, 2004: Shaun of the Dead. It was a close call with The Incredibles and The Triplets of Belleville … but “You’ve got red on you” and “We’re coming to get you, Barbara” and “Kill the Queen!” and damn, that was a funny, funny movie.
Most Entertaining, previous: Tie between Bad Santa and Dick. In order to be considered for this category, both my boyfriend and I had to find the movie entertaining, which eliminated just about everything from the 1930s. (He did like Holiday, though.)
Most Entertaining, 1930-1940: Tie between Trouble in Paradise and I’m No Angel. (Remember, I am only counting movies I saw for the first time in 2004.) My boyfriend liked Mae West but couldn’t sit still for the Lubitsch. I need more Lubitsch films on DVD in 2005, please. Oh, wait, I forgot about Alice Adams. And Modern Times … Let’s face it, I love most of the stuff I see from this time period.
Biggest Pleasant Surprise, 2004: The Stepford Wives, believe it or not. I thought it was going to be atrocious, but it was cute and funny.
Biggest Pleasant Surprise, previous: There’s Something About Mary. Y’all told me so and I admit you were right. That doesn’t mean I’m going to see any more Farrelly brothers’ movies, though, okay?
Best Movie None of You May Get to See, 2004: Dear Pillow, which was fascinating despite a very low budget indeed. I hope this movie finds a distributor in 2005.
Movie That Made Me Cry and I am Not Ashamed To Admit It, Damn It: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Oh, my.
Most Compelling Movie, previous: Heavenly Creatures, which was amazing. Possibly the best movie I saw all year, although I change my mind on this practically daily.
Silliest Movie, 2004: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, but it had tons of competition. Many of the 2004 movies I saw were more or less silly, except The Fog of War and Control Room.
Silliest Movie, previous: Tied between The President’s Analyst and Galaxy Quest, which are entirely different kinds of silly but each fun in their own way.
Sweetest Little Movie You Ever Did See, previous: Local Hero. Just lovely. I don’t know why I haven’t bought the DVD yet. I need more Bill Forsyth movies on DVD in 2005, please.
Smartest Political/Commentary: The Fog of War. I need more Errol Morris movies in 2005, please.
Dumbest Political/Commentary: Outfoxed, which annoyed me as a former journalist.
Most Watchable Mess, 2004: Ocean’s Twelve, which was loads of fun, but who devised such a messy and forgettable and dumb plot?
Most Watchable Mess, previous: Intolerable Cruelty, which almost worked as a witty tribute to 1930s films until it suddenly, nastily turned dark and dumb near the end.
Most Overrated Movie, 2004: Napoleon Dynamite, which everyone in America adored except for me, my boyfriend, Adina, and Roger Ebert. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t just having a bad day and ought to give it another chance, but there are too many movies out there that I haven’t seen once, for me to waste two hours of my life on something I couldn’t stand the first time I saw it.
Most Overrated Movie, previous: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. I’d always heard it was a timeless classic, but I found it grating and cliched and irritating. And I hate to say this, because the stories about the movie are so wonderful and entertaining, but The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was interesting for its historical value and impact on film, but didn’t do much for me on its own merits as a horror movie. I think that may be because I don’t like humorless horror movies, though (see notes on Re-Animator below).
Movie That Inspired New Vocabulary: Seabiscuit, which has caused my boyfriend and I to use the term “triumph of the human spirit” in a derogatory way towards a certain type of movie. We also say “You know, it looks very Seabiscuit-ish” (my comment after seeing the trailer for The Aviator).
Most Disappointing, 2004: Kill Bill, vol. 2, because I liked the first one so much. It turned into a Douglas Sirk melodrama at the end. Urgh.
Most Disappointing, previous: The Ladykillers (1955). I thought this was going to be much, much funnier. And I love Kind Hearts and Coronets. Somehow it dragged too much for me. I am embarrassed to admit I preferred the remake. Grand Hotel was also disappointing—stagier and more heavy-handed that I expected.
Best Zombie Movie, 2004: Shaun of the Dead. Duh.
Best Zombie Movie, previous: Re-Animator. I realized this year, after watching a number of zombie-themed and/or splatter films in October, that I don’t generally like horror movies unless they have some element of humor (like Evil Dead 2). Re-Animator has the perfect dark humorous style.
Best use of ABBA: Muriel’s Wedding.
Movies That Caused A Household Ban: My boyfriend has requested, rather emphatically, that no movies with ABBA music be shown within his earshot, after being exposed to The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and Muriel’s Wedding. In fact, he is now gunshy of any Australian movies, except perhaps the Mad Max series.
Movie I Cannot Believe I Forgot To Write About: Alice Adams, which I had (and have) a whole lot to say about since watching it in late July. I had lumped it in with a category I called Dull Stagey Thirties Hepburn Movies, and it absolutely is not. It is also the only George Stevens movie I like, so far. I found a half-written review on my hard drive and I guess I just plain forgot to finish it. Don’t worry, I will.
Movies I Couldn’t Finish: Dawn of the Dead (1978) because it was stupid and gory and lame. I also was in the same room while Starsky and Hutch, The Fifth Element, The Caine Mutiny, and The Postman Always Rings Twice (1948) were on and I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to sit through those, either.
Best Use of the Can-Can, 2004: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Hee.
Best Use of the Can-Can, previous: Moulin Rouge, without a doubt.
Most Annoying Actor: Mark Wahlberg in The Italian Job. He’s not annoying as much as he is a complete nonentity. What’s annoying is that people keep casting him in roles that require a little more than his fine imitation of a block of wood.
Most Annoying Actress, previous: Ali McGraw in The Getaway. Urrrgh.
Most Surprisingly Non-Annoying Actress, previous: Jennifer Lopez in Out of Sight, a film I liked a whole lot. You would hardly believe that the actress in this film is the publicity-hogging J-Lo.
Most Surprisingly Non-Annoying Actor, previous: Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. He usually annoys me severely. I’d never seen him in a comedy before, unless you count Sweet and Lowdown, in which he was annoying as usual. Obviously the man ought to pick more comic roles.
Best Actress in a Mediocre Movie: Holly Hunter in the Cheerleading Mom movie with the misleadingly interesting title. Her role in The Incredibles more than made up for it, though.
Best (Young) Don Ameche Look-Alike: Morgan Spurlock in Super Size Me. Seriously. Go watch Midnight and see if I lie.
Best Commentary Track for a Mediocre Movie: Brother Bear, which looked dreadful but had a wonderful commentary track by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas in their MacKenzie brothers personae.
Most Surprising Revelation: I get annoyed with remakes in general, but it’s good to see that recent remakes are adding some twists and turns to the plot so that people who saw the original movies are not bored. Good examples: The Manchurian Candidate, The Ladykillers, and The Stepford Wives.
Most Important Film-Related Boyfriend-Related Revelation: Do not ever, ever ask my boyfriend to see movies that are described using the word “bawdy,” even if they won Best Picture awards and are critically acclaimed and damned funny, like Tom Jones. This may be more important than the ABBA restriction (see above).
Movies I’d Like to Own on DVD (that I saw for the first time in 2004): Shaun of the Dead, Alice Adams, Muriel’s Wedding, Local Hero, Out of Sight, Best in Show, and Trouble in Paradise.
Other Movies I Just Want to Mention That I Enjoyed: El Mariachi, The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Spider-Man 2, House of Games, Memento, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Waiting for Guffman.
2004 Movies I Haven’t Seen Yet but Want to: The Life Aquatic, Kinsey, Sideways, Badassssss! (which just arrived in the mail), Garden State, and Stage Beauty. The Life Aquatic keeps being sold out when we go to theaters, damn it. But this weekend, I am determined.