clicking and sparking and hugging and … (part four)

I meant to write one entry about how I don’t believe in love in first sight. I don’t believe in a big audible click when you meet someone, or your gaze locking with someone else’s and sparks flying. Hell, I don’t even believe that witty repartee leads to romance, although actually that’s one I had to work on a little bit. (See what happens when you watch too many movies?)
I meant to write one entry and then I meant to write a two-part entry and now here we are, on Part Four of what I dubbed the Schmoop Saga. How and where do you end a story like this? This is real life and there are no tidy endings, no places to fade out comfortably to a black screen and stirring music. I made my original point. Two people met and talked about blogging applications and social software and high thread-count sheets and had no idea they might go on an Actual Date, let alone live together within six months of said date.

I managed to calm down before the Actual Date. My air conditioning had been fixed without costing much at all. I found clothes to wear that I didn’t hate and that I hadn’t worn on the previous not-a-dates. I got to Central Market a little early and sat on the bench by the door of the cafe, fidgeting, trying to read the menu, trying to figure out what I’d want to eat, and wondering what in the hell was going to happen.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had a date that I unequivocably looked forward to, with someone I knew I found attractive and who returned the feeling. Hell, it was probably high school, when you consider that I didn’t really date a lot of people with whom I ended up having relationships, we just more or less fell into the situation. I’d been on various blind or semi-blind dates in Austin that had been painful at best. I am surprised I didn’t spontaneously combust while waiting on the bench at Central Market.
He showed up and saw me and the first thing he did was to sit on the bench next to me and give me a great big hug. I hugged back. I would say he was a good hugger, but of course my current feelings might be coloring the situation in retrospect. I might well have kissed him but the bench was in a high-traffic area and it was getting a bit crowded and we moved over to the counter to order dinner.
We had a nice dinner outside on the patio area. Afterwards we walked around and looked at shops. Neither of us wanted the date to be over. Finally we sat down on another bench outside, facing the playscape but not too close to anyone else. It was starting to get dark. We talked. We inched closer to one another. Finally, about 10 million years later, we kissed.
We talked and snuggled and moved from the bench to some chairs on the patio as it began to rain a little bit. By that time, the area was mostly deserted. We should have gone home. But we didn’t want to leave each other and I personally didn’t want to rush things … I didn’t want to leap into bed with this guy, have him think it was just a fling, and then have it be over in a week. I wanted to take things slowly. I told him that. He agreed.
But we were so happy to be with one another, we couldn’t stop hugging and touching each other, and rather than be thrown out and banned from Central Market forever, we went to my house. To take things slowly. Which we did.
It was all still a little awkward. Should we have Actual Dates while taking things slowly? Were we actually dating? Did we want everyone to know this? We hadn’t ironed out all the details. We would have another date to talk about it all, but in the meantime that first date had been on Tuesday night, and the next night, we were both going to an Austin Bloggers meeting. We decided we would both go to the meeting and see each other there, but act casual about it all.
Okay, I don’t quite understand this part either. Somehow I interpreted “act casual” as “pretend there’s nothing going on between us.” And really, what was I supposed to do? I didn’t know quite what we had going on, and I didn’t know how to act, and some of my friends were going to be there and they didn’t know the first thing about any of this. I hadn’t told anyone in that group of friends that I was attracted to this particular guy, because I had assumed it would go nowhere and I didn’t want to end up all embarrassed later.
Anyway, the meeting was at Ruta Maya and I walked over to everyone, said hi, and then went to the counter to get some coffee. Rumor has it that at this point, Kramer (who knew nothing about any of this) told my boyfriend to “watch out for that one, she’s a Scorpio,” but this detail is still in dispute.
We had to move the meeting from Ruta Maya because it was raining and they wanted to charge everyone a cover charge to go inside. (I don’t know why you would promote your business as a Meetup site and then be so unwelcoming to the Meetup groups, but that’s not for small minds to ponder.) We all ended up in a breezeway in front of Clear Channel, next door. Somehow I ended up sitting next to Beau. I wonder how that happened. We were sitting next to each other but it was hard to figure out how to talk to him as though nothing particular had happened between us. Eventually everyone broke up into groups and we were in separate groups, so we didn’t have to worry so much.
I knew he had to go home after the meeting and I wouldn’t see him until the weekend, but I thought maybe I could catch him for a minute afterwards, and give him a hug, and talk a little bit. I was looking forward to it.
Except … just as the meeting broke up and we started walking to our cars, Kramer came up to me and asked me if I could give him a ride since it was raining. Now I couldn’t say no, it was raining, and I didn’t see anyone else near us who could give him a ride, so I told him that was fine. I was disappointed about not getting to spend a few minutes with Beau, I admit.
But he walked me to my car, with Kramer tagging behind, and we hugged goodbye, and at the end we couldn’t resist a small kiss.
Suddenly Kramer realized just what he had been interrupting. He became the most apologetic person on the planet. He had no idea, and he didn’t mind walking, I could let him out of the car, it was no problem. I thought it was funny, myself, and drove him to his favorite Amy’s/Jo’s intersection, and then went home.
The next day, I ran into Greg, who had also been to the blogger gathering. We talked about it for a minute or two.
“I’ve noticed something interesting,” he told me. “I don’t know if you realize it, but did you notice that you and Beau are always sitting next to each other at these events?”
No one has to tell me how red my face turned. I am aware that I am a chronic blusher. I also started laughing. I gave Greg an abbreviated version of events and he was plenty surprised, but pleased.
That weekend, Beau came over … and he never really left.