My parents are visiting Austin next week. We don’t usually watch movies together. They go to the outlet mall while I’m at work. We sit around on the sofa with a golf game on the TV and talk about what we might want to do (and rarely do any of it except nap). Sometimes we sit on the patio and drink beer and tell very funny family stories. (My dad pulls me aside to tell me the ones my mom hates to hear, like anything to do with my grandparents.)
We might go to the Wildflower Center, but I’m not sure my dad will like it. He likes to go places where he can get snacks at regular intervals. (His favorite Austin restaurant is Taco Cabana. Don’t ask me why.) So perhaps we might go see the new Whole Foods, because that seems like a great place for him to procure snacks while we watch the chocolate enrobing station. We could go to the Westlake Farmers Market. We could walk to the Dairy Queen, or hang out with the cows at Amy’s Ice Cream. Who knows?
But we are probably not going to see any movies, especially not in movie theaters. My mom doesn’t like anything with crude language or even hints of non-marital sex. My dad loves movies with fart jokes or any kind of physical humor. (He would have felt right at home seeing those movies with the Fiji audience in Reel Paradise.) Usually he pretends to pacify my mom, or whomever else is in the room, by shouting, “That’s disgusting! What kind of filth is that?” and then laughing his ass off.
I will illustrate the difficulties in seeing movies with my parents by sharing my estimate of my parents’ reactions to some of the movies opening in Austin this week. I will leave you to guess which parent would say what.
Continue reading movies this week: what would Mom and Dad think?